Monday, March 22, 2010

One year old

Dear Lucy,

Today is your birthday! I thought I would be a crying mess today, but it was actually a happy, lighthearted day. It was drizzling, so we had to change all our plans. We ended up spending the day in the community center playroom.

After Daddy and Karima came home from work, we sang Happy Birthday and let you eat a whole chocolate muffin.

We had some tender moments today...when I nursed you down for your nap, I thought of all our sleepy daytime nursings throughout the year. I remembered those marathon five hour naps last summer, and a few months after that when you kept trying to practice crawling while staying latched on. After you fell asleep, I stayed next to you in bed, staring at your cheeks (still as round as the day you were born!) and taking a million pictures.

And then tonight, when I nursed you to sleep for the night, I cried while singing the lullabies that I sang to you in your newborn weeks. I remember that those lullabies made me cry then, too, when I was just so blown away by my motherlove for you, and the sudden understanding of my mom's motherlove for me.

I can’t believe it’s been a whole year already since I gave birth to you. You still feel like my baby (and always will), but you’re also starting to feel more like a kid. Every now and then, I catch glimpses of what it will be like when you’re old enough to be my funny fairy friend. I am nostalgic for your babyhood, but this is the most fun age so far. You’re just such a delightful; you make me laugh every day. I want to put you, the way you are at this exact moment, into a time capsule so I’ll always remember just how silly and wonderful you are as you turn 1. These are the funny things you do that make you you.

When we nurse, you pop off and paw at my chest while grinning and cooing. I say, “oh, you’re a funny guy, huh?” and paw back at your chest while you cackle at me.

You go running towards the front door when you hear Daddy’s keys in the lock. Then while he takes his coat off and settles in, you stand right underneath him, smiling up at him with joy.

When I make our lunch smoothies, you always ask me to pick you up so you can watch. You hide your head against my shoulder while the blender is whirring. Then you steal my peanut butter spoon and lick it happily while I have lunch.

You love dancing! You stand at the baby gate in front of the stereo and look at me expectantly until I turn on the radio. Your favorite songs to dance to are Bad Romance and anything by the Clash. Sometimes when Daddy comes home from work, we put on music and all dance together. When Karima is around she joins in, too.

You always charm people in the elevators. When the doors open, you shriek “eeeee!” and grin. You’re really just happy to hear the bing, but people think you’re talking to them and just love it.

When you hear me put a youtube video on, you know I’m going to wrap you on my back. You come running over and hold your arms out so I can get the wrap around them. While I’m wrapping you, you lean your head on my shoulder so you can get a better view of the video.

You love talking on the phone. Whenever I’m talking to someone, you demand to talk, too. I put it on speakerphone and you walk away holding the phone, grinning and yelling “ah! Aaah!” You and Grammi have whole conversations of saying “ah” back and forth to each other. You just started holding anything you find to your ear and saying, “ah?” like it’s a phone.

Your favorite game is still peek-a-boo. You hold a shirt up to your face, or behind your head (you don't quite get that the point is to cover your face), and giggle quietly while I say “where’s Lucy?” When I find you, you crack up.

For months now, you’ve thought sneezing is the funniest thing in the world. Whenever you sneeze, you get a gleam in your eye and then pretend sneeze for another minute. You like pretending to cough, too. I've probably spent whole hours of the last year pretending to sneeze and cough at you.

This year has been such a journey for me, and I’m so thrilled to be journeying with you. I love you so much!


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